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Lakewood Times

“Untitled” Two Perspectives

I was gone.

That was it. Was I dead? I was a god, though. Could gods die? Could the dead think? I had no idea what was happening. I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t see. All I could sense with immeasurable heartbreak. The only one I had ever loved had killed me. Or stabbed me. Or banished me, or whatever horrible thing he did. I wanted to cry, but I had no eyes to cry from. I wanted to hold my hair to hide my face and yet I had neither. I wanted so much, but there was nothing I could have if I didn’t exist. It was all black. 

I heard something. A sound! Some sense other than emotion. I was done with those. My mind tried to find the sound, the scratchy, shocking sound. It sounded like a battle or a spaceship liftoff. I heard cries in the background, but I couldn’t tell from who. I hoped no one was hurt. The sound got closer and closer until I saw something. An eclipse of light at mid-distance. It was glowing a purple-red color and pulsated like a beating heart. I didn’t even know I could see, and as the light got closer, I tried to find myself. But my sight was glued to the light, and I couldn’t look away. The light shrouded me, and it acted as a window for something so horrible. 


It was me, floating there, growing in immense light and power, and the weaker earth buckling beneath me. My sight roamed around trying to find Aidrick, trying to find even a hint of what was going on. I saw him cowering on the ground, empty-handed, yelling at me. But who was really in there? If I was in here, watching me, who was he talking to? Was anyone talking back? I had no clue. All I could hear still was the static.

I wanted to scream, but I didn’t know how. I wanted to yell and tell him it was okay. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to know why he hurt me. My memory was fuzzy, all I remember were such immense feelings. So harsh, and then I died. I tried moving and watched my body as I did. I tried so hard for something so small. I squeezed my “hand” so hard, but nothing happened. 

The more Aidrick yelled or spoke, the more irritated my body became. The surrounding power grew and a flash of light adorned my body with new skin, hard skin, mechanical-looking, puppet skin. It looked like a robot. My hair was cut off and from me, that was the last straw. I had no idea who was in my body, but I was done with them. 

I clenched my fists and tried to scream. I pulled and yanked and squeezed so hard. My mind was leaving, and I could feel it. I saw my real fingers move a bit, and I fought even harder. I shrieked and cried in pain, and tears of joy sprouted from my eyes as I finally felt again. I saw my body move to my own will, and I saw the tears waterfall from my eyes. I heard my own wailing, and saw Aidrick looking scared and confused. I pushed out in front of me,  feeling a stretchy barrier between me and myself.

I feel like he knew at least twice as much as I, and maybe he figured out who that was in my body. I had a feeling. I could sense it in myself, my soul, and I felt so free. I felt my mind leave this horrible place, and the powerful agony reigned over me, but I kept pushing. I kept yelling, screaming, kicking, hitting, and doing whatever I could to climb the rope to my body. I wasn’t going to turn away now. I wasn’t going to let whoever this was destroying my life and everything that I had worked for. I built my life, and I had done a damn good job. I had a life; I had assets and my own family. I reached towards the glowing window, which shone such a bright light, I could barely see myself. The power crackling through reached my body, and I could feel it surrounding my body as I was lighted through, and I kept fighting for what I knew was mine. I wasn’t even thinking anymore. I was straining with all of my strength and patience. My bones felt like they were disintegrating beneath me, but I kept shoving. I see my body, slowing and twisting, throwing itself as whoever was inside tried to fight back. My passion for life was too strong. I was built on love and passion. I wasn’t going to let a hating idiot control me. I was winning. 

I was here

I had done it! I made it through the window, and I could feel and see! I looked down at myself and saw my armor shining in the light, and I looked around. Trees, dirt, and water were strewn everywhere. It was pouring rain and there were roaring fires sneering at the droplets. Had I really caused all of this destruction? 

I fell to the ground, landing on my feet, which ached with such pain I fell to the ground. I tried to get up, but my knees keep buckling underneath me. I tried to shuffle and crawl toward Aidrick, trying to find him. I couldn’t even find my voice. I could feel the stinging tears on my cheeks and I grabbed at the soaked grass, slipping all over. I was wailing and sobbing but I could barely hear it. I tried to call for him, for anyone, but I heard nothing. My ears were singing a constant ringing sound and repelled all else. I dropped to the ground and lay there, trying to breathe, catch my breath, calm down, any sign of not-dying. My eyes began to close, but not before I saw someone, I couldn’t tell who, running up to my dismantled body. I think I really lost that time. 


~~*Perspective 2*~~

The words left her mouth as she left me flabbergasted. The raw power that surrounded her was horrifying. 

“Arachne, what’s happening?! Please! Tell me!”

“I told you,” her voice echoed. “Arachne. Is. GONE. My name is Baal, a destroyer. I take and leave and I am a guardian of eternity. And for all eternity, you will pay for ruining my creations.”

“What do you mean?” I cried. The tears stung my face and blurred my vision. I had made too many mistakes. I just wanted my friend back. 

“No one cares what you want. Foolish god. You have acted inappropriately to the highest gods and you will face your punishment.”

“But why? Why does she have to suffer?”

She isn’t suffering. She is somewhere I have dwelled for millions of years. She cannot feel. She cannot move. She cannot touch, hear or smell. She is simply a soul aboard an empty train.”

Through my gushing tears, I saw Arach- Baals? I’m not sure anymore, but I saw her hand move. A twitching motion, like a puppet used by a child. The static power surrounding her began to shatter. 

“Hey, Arachne! Where are you? Can you hear me?!” I screamed. Maybe Arachne was still there!

“N-n-n-n-NO! She is STUCK. I will not say it AGAIN. She cannot get out-ou-o-out!” She glitched.

I watched as she rose into the air, fighting something from within. Her arms shook and bent in different directions. Like the puppeteer had lost control. 

“I swore-re-re that I would never be a saint. I took an oath to work. To control. I have sworn to my superior that I would live forever. Working for the world we all built. For the gods, we had built. I am not going to-to-to-o turn my back on her. My spirit never dies. I lay on my throne watching. Every single step you took. Everything you made her feel. I felt it too. She had felt ages of nothing. Timeless memories of pain and insensibility. You came along, and everything changed. Her mind defrosted and she loved for once in her forsaken life. You were special. You were different. I thought so too. But you couldn’t handle her. You couldn’t hold the thought of being less than someone, but you have been nothing but the least this whole time. I-I-I knew she loved you, but I couldn’t let her forgive-ve-ve-e you so easily. I would say I’m sorry-ry-ry but I’m not. Now, you will parish-sh-sh.”

Her voice boomed over me as she monotone and seemed to lose control.

“Heh, you’re not looking so hot,” I said, shakily.

“My patience is on the edge. I feel her within me. She has broken the boundaries of the second place. She is much stronger than you. She is stronger than me. She will continue to grow with guidance. I place-ce-ce-e my trust in you one final time, boy. You cannot let humane feelings control you. You are controlled by your own drive. If you really are-re-re-e worried about her-er-r then you will be able to own up and grow.”

“I, of course! I have done an awful thing and if it takes the rest of my life to fix it, I will! Please, just give her back,” I begged, crying.

“You have done an unforgivable deed, and your delegations have been avoided. If I can trust you one final time-me-me-e, I will let her out-t-t”

I saw her body contorting and breaking. I knew she was trying to get out. Her chest looked like a shredding, breaking, stretching wound, the flesh begging to be set free. Her hands were in strong fists and her legs were static straight. My mind was racing with thoughts about what she said. If we really were gods, and yet, there were gods above us. Did our lives even matter then? We lived forever with such a miniscule purpose. I still remembered when there was no sun, like then. When I tried to let some sun through her trees, I broke her house. A smile widened on my face. And when we went on walks, the happier sunbeams showed on us through the trees. I missed that. I miss those days when I had no jealousy and no painful thoughts. It was almost like they weren’t even my thoughts, but someone around mine.

I was smiling and laughing through my gushing tears, choking on my words. I had learned by now. There wasn’t always going to be sunshine, but the small bits of light would shine through during the happiest of moments, with her, and give me the happiest warm feeling.

“Yes! I can do it! I will help her, care for her, and protect her even if it means from herself. No matter how fast the future comes, no matter how long it takes, I will be the best possible person, I will be the best I can be for her! I swear on the highest god we all know.”

“You have chosen well. We all make mistakes, even the worst ones. I can forgive you for this once in your life, but I cannot say the same for her. She still had extremely strong-g-g-g feelings that are helping-ing-ng-ng her get out. I cannot decipher what. You will have to figure it out-ut-t. I am done playing with you dense, half-baked-ed-ed-d children. You have your fun now, but I do not want to hear of this nonsense again. Not a whisperer-er-r.”

I watched in awe as her body contorted violently, stretching and breaking as I saw handprints through the heavy armor. The wind blew viciously as she began to scream a horribly loud screech, calling upon all of her power. The ground beneath her flew apart and with a silencing flash, I flew backward. I impacted something and fell to the earth, weary as I tried desperately to see her.

“I promise,” I replied. “I swear on my love and honor.”

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