I haven’t stopped crying since they were taken from me.  It’s not always violent sobs, although I get those too.  Most of the time, though, it’s just a quiet stream, a slow trickle that salts my food and wets my pillow.  It’s strange.  Normally they would be here to comfort me.  To wipe my tears away with a snarky comment or witty sarcasm.  I miss that.  I miss their teases and jokes.  From anyone else it might have seemed rude, but from them, it always felt endearing.  

But more than anything I miss their voice.  God, they had the loveliest voice.  Deep and brooding in conversation but so high and light in song.  I remember how we used to duet together, my guitar and their voice.  We really knew how to please a crowd, heh.  Everyone always left feeling something.  Not necessarily good.  Sometimes our songs were heartbreaking, infuriating, confusing.  And other times our music was soft and quiet, loud and excited, blissful and sweet.  Kinda like them, funny enough.

I wish I could have said goodbye.  A proper goodbye, not the rushed “please don’t leave me!” that I gave them.  What a horrible last thing for them to hear.  I wish they were still around for me to apologize too.  I wish so many things.  I wish to look into their beautiful red eyes, I wish to hold those calloused blue hands, I was to sit beside them and rest my head on their shoulders just one more time.  They never liked being touched, but they didn’t seem to mind the little things. 

I can still remember the first time I fell asleep on their shoulder.  According to the others, I just 

slumped over onto them.  They started to tell me to get the hell off, but stopped when they saw I was sleeping.  They let me rest.  Things changed after that, they became a little more comfortable with me touching them.  Holding hands, resting on one another.  It was a slow, slow process, but soon they began to trust me.  They were so sweet, under that jaded shell of theirs.  They loved to hide behind their horns, but I know them.  I know the real them.

At least, I used to.

Now they’re gone.  I couldn’t save them, I tried, I tried so hard, but it’s over now.  I’ve lost Creed forever.  I miss them so much.  Snarky and sweet and sarcastic and gorgeous and mean and caring Creed.  I’d do anything just to sing with them again.  Anything at all.