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Lakewood Times

Lakewood Times

“Blue and Orange Swirls” Deja Vu

Today was always stressful for me. I hated dentist appointments. It’s always been a weird concept to me – people just sticking weird dental instruments in our mouths. Plus, their outfits. Them wearing those goggles and masks just gave me an icky feeling. So, I was in the third period, learning about Newton’s Third Law. Crazy to say this, but I’d actually rather learn about physics than go to the dentist. The class phone rang. Of course, it was for me. I walked through the halls, starting to feel anxiety more and more. My forehead started to develop sweat on the top of it. My heart started to beat faster as I walked through the front door of the school. My mom was waiting. She had a smile as always. 

As we were driving over, I continued to feel nervous. My mom sensed it.

“It’ll be okay, hun! It’s just like every other time,” she said soothingly.

We walked into the office and into the waiting room. There was a painting on the wall that truly interested me. It was a simple painting. It was just a bunch of blue and orange swirls, with a white background.

I felt like I’d seen that painting before. When I was young, I remember being at a doctor’s appointment. On their wall, they had that same exact painting, I think.  Everything was exactly the same, even the frame. 

My feet began to tap faster and faster as I was waiting for them to call my name. What didn’t make sense to me is that I didn’t have a problem dealing with any other doctor’s office. 

I was in the doctor’s room, still staring at that image. I was mesmerized by it – the way the blue and orange swirled together. In a weird way, it made me feel uncomfortable, almost on edge. The doctor walked into the room. He was wearing his white coat and blue rubber gloves, like every other doctor. He immediately handed me a lollipop. 

A woman walked in and called my name. My stomach dropped at that moment. My head became lighter as I stood up out of my chair. I walked into the cleaning room and there were blue and orange swirls everywhere. I sat down in the orange cleaning chair. I leaned back in the chair and tried to calm myself down. It was okay, possibly even pleasant for a moment, until the lady came back in and put on her mask and her goggles and stared at me as I was looking into the bright light shined on me. I felt like a subject in a lab experiment. 

The checkup seemed to be going fine. I thought of myself as a healthy kid. Then, the doctor asked to talk to my mother in the other room, almost in a concerning manner. I continued to sit in the office, just staring at that painting. What did that painting mean? It just didn’t make sense. It didn’t even relate to health. I started to feel worried. What were they talking about outside? Am I going to die? I was thinking about a lot at once.

As the light was shining in my face, the dentist opened my mouth and looked into my mouth. All I could see was the dentist’s eyes, gazing at my teeth. I couldn’t see his mouth or nose, just his eyes. But, I remained relaxed and just counted down the seconds before it was finally over. The dentist quickly flossed my teeth and started brushing my teeth. The brush was incredibly small. When the vibrating brush hit my teeth, it tickled. It almost made me laugh. I actually began to feel a little more comfortable, but then I looked at the wall, with the blue and orange swirls, and my heart began to beat faster once again.

As I was looking at this painting, my mom and my doctor both walked in. There were tears flowing down my mother’s eyes. 

“Hey buddy. You have something called cancer in your blood. Luckily, it is treatable and with the right steps, you should go on to live a happy and normal life!” he said, kind of enthusiastically.

This wasn’t something to be excited about, doc. We have learned about cancer in school a little bit. I didn’t want to lose my hair! Me and my mother sat there in silence for a few minutes. I continued to stare at that painting. My anxiety began to build up. The painting began to slowly fade away. Next thing I remembered, I was in an emergency room.

As I continued to look at the wall, it finally clicked. I didn’t hate the dentist, I hated the paintings on the wall. It all began to make sense finally. Once it clicked, I actually began to enjoy myself. I just ignored the walls around me. Me and the dentist talked about the local sports teams. I actually began to enjoy being there, surprisingly. Maybe being here was better than being in Physics class.

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